How to Know if God Wants You to Date Someone
Deciding who you’re going to marry is the biggest decision you’ll make in your life. Once you get married, you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that person. Marriage is a covenant you make with the other person, and it’s not designed to be broken.
“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”Matthew 19:6 NKJV
That can bring up a lot of questions when you’re dating someone. Does God want you in that relationship? Does God want you to start dating someone specific? Are you with the right person?
God doesn’t have one specific person that you’re supposed to marry.
If that was the case, if one person married the wrong person, other relationships would be messed up. Once you marry someone, that’s your person for life.
And, while God doesn’t have one specific person set aside for you, He does have a type of person that He wants you to date and spend your life with. God will give you clear signs that you’re dating the right person or not.
These are five Bible-based signs that God wants you to date someone.
They’re a Believer
The most important thing is that the person you’re dating or want to date is a Christian. This doesn’t mean you need to agree on every point, or have the same exact beliefs, but there’s a huge difference between the beliefs and values of believers and unbelievers.
“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”2 Corinthians 6:14 NLT
It’s also important to realize that you can’t make someone believe. You can point them in the right direction, but you won’t change the person’s heart.
One of my pastors used to show this example:
One person is standing on a chair (the believer) and the other person is on the ground (unbeliever). If they try to pull the other person up or down, the person on the ground will always win.
It’s easier to pull someone down into sin and unbelief than it is to bring someone up towards righteousness.
You agree on important things
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”Amos 3:3 NKJV
You will never meet someone you agree with on everything. Not your pastors, parents, friends, family, or potential spouse. That’s not a problem—God created you to be unique and have a unique perspective and experience.
My wife and I don’t agree about the type of dog we want to get. We don’t always agree on what we should eat for dinner, or what to watch on TV. Those are little things that don’t matter all that much.
What’s important is that we agree on the important things in life. We agree on where we live, where we go to church, how we spend our money, and the family we want to build together.
If you want to have kids, you need to date someone that also wants to have kids. If you want to attend church every Sunday, you need to date someone who wants to go with you.
God wants you and your partner to share values and move together in the same direction.
They bring you closer to God
One of the easiest ways to know if God wants you to be with someone is how they affect your relationship with God.
When you’re with them, do you feel closer to God or further away from God?
Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV
The people you’re spending time with should always be bringing you closer to God. If the person you’re with is encouraging you to skip church services and small groups / Bible studies, they’re probably not God’s best for you.
Again, when we like someone, we assume we can change them for the good. That’s not that the Bible says. It’s clear that bad company corrupts your good morals.
Your friends and family support you
Your relationship shouldn’t exist in a vacuum. You need to let other trusted people in and listen to their advice. I’ve seen how a controlling person can take someone away from their friends and family, and block their partner from listening to anyone except for themself.
This isn’t healthy for any relationship, and it’s not what God intended.
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”Proverbs 11:14 NKJV
You need to have friends and family members that you trust and listen to. If they see red flags in your relationship, listen to them! We can be easily blinded by our love for our partner. No one is perfect, but if everyone else in your life is against the relationship, it’s a good sign to take a step back and consider what they’re saying.
Also, remember to have multiple counselors and people intentionally discipling you. If one friend says they support your relationship, that doesn’t mean it’s right. Likewise, if one person is pointing out all the flaws, don’t listen to their criticism right away.
When I was engaged, someone at church took me aside and told me to not marry my fiancée. Thankfully, we had many other trusted people who fully supported our relationship. There’s safety in many advisors—don’t let one person (even a parent) direct your relationships.
You’re seeking God
If you want to know whether God wants you to date someone or not, the best thing you can do is seek God with your entire heart. Trust that when you seek God, He will take care of everything else. That’s exactly what Jesus promises.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”Matthew 6:33 NKJV
When you seek God and His kingdom, He will lead you down the right paths of life, and tell you when you need to make a u-turn. God wants to fulfill all the desires of your heart. When you give Him full access to your life, He can bless every area of your life.
Read next: What Does The Bible Say About Living Together Before Marriage?